RYAN FUNT RANTS,RAGES AND REACTS.

Ryan Funt, the protection plan pushing electronics salesman, was upset with life and damn it all to Hell, but every single one of his coworkers was going to know about it. Ryan, taller than Ruth Gordon shorter than Prince, was pacing the aisle way like a wound up little toy robot with fresh batteries and an attitude. Not that little toy robots ever cop an attitude. Just go with it. Anyway, Ryan was upset about a perceived slight he felt his manager had given him. As nice as Ryan can be, he does perceive slights on a fairly regular basis. Some real, most not. Ryan, leading his department in sales, hourly contribution, and of course, protection plans, was getting his rather rotund ass kicked in credit. Ryan, a true RETAIL LEGEND, can't open a credit to lose his virginity let alone save his life. Technically, Ryan is not a virgin anymore. Technically. Reality? You decide. Ryan lost it all to a lubed up sock puppet named Becky, who rumor has it had been on more hands than the inventory of a Fossil Store. Becky later ran off with a car salesman with extraordinary wrists, but that is a different story. Ryan moped and complained about not getting credit. Ryan moped and complained about not being given enough credit. Hell, Ryan moped and complained. Ryan also likes to rant and rage. Ryan rants against the corporate man. Ryan someday will be the corporate man but that is irrelevant. For now he rages. His rages can be extremely entertaining as he turns slightly purple spewing venom at liberal hippies, the unemployed, and his favorite target, his employer. He hops up and down as he rages. He waves his finger in the air or points it at imaginary chests. When Ryan really gets going he can be like a minature King Kong, only not as eloquent. Ryan is definitly not AFFLUENT.